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Author Archives: Christy McMakin

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About Christy McMakin

I am a daughter, sister, friend, mother, grandmother and breast cancer survivor. I am passionate, emotional, and animated. I love life, my children, my grandchildren, my family, my friends and my God. I am a leader, a follower, a student and a teacher. I am a Libra born in the cusp of Scorpio - therefore I am an emotional piece of balanced work (I am also a comedian! ;) ) I am addicted to chap stick, a warm cup of coffee, chocolate, hugs and kisses from my babies and grandbabies, and socks! I am an outdoor enthusiast and I love to hike, rock climb, explore, chase waterfalls, bushwhack, rock scramble and anything else that spells adventure! I write about anyone and anything that inspires me.

Connections….

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A sunny day
Same old routine
A sea of faces
A stolen look
A captured glance
It was only a matter of time
Forbidden moments
Hearts and lives forever intertwined
I was yours
You were mine
If only in those moments. Connected

Days passed
Time brought changes
Memories with smiles
Others tear stained
Life went on and the miles grew longer
Thoughts of you remained. Connected.

A call a chance
Anticipation
And in an instant
In your arms
The kiss of your lips
The touch of your hand
3 years 3 months and 20 days
Melted away
We talked
We laughed
We shared
We sighed
The sands of the hourglass
Sifted slowly by
But for that moment
Once again
I am yours
You are mine. Connected.

No matter the hours or the days
No matter what life brings our way
No matter who
What
When
or Where
Always
For a moment. Connected.

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

 
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Welcome…..

Hello, my name is Christy
Welcome to my corner of the world
It’s loud and lively and lovely
Full of challenges and adventures
Brimming over with moments that make memories
Stored with treasures that money cannot buy
Painted with peace
Colored in conversations
Built on a foundation that is stronger than myself
There are boundaries But no borders
Come as a stranger
Leave as a friend
Anyone is welcome
But not everyone will stay
And that’s okay….
Hello, my name is Christy
Welcome to my corner of the world……

 
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Posted by on January 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

 
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Wake Me….

Wake me when December’s gone
Winter has held me way too long
Her icy clutch, her distant stare
Dear heart how much more can you bare?
Come spring and whisper a lovely tune
Of hope and promise and life anew
Sing to me with flames and fire
Ignite within the lost desire
Shake me, please, don’t wait too long
Wake me when December’s gone…….

 
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Posted by on January 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

 
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Of mammograms, pissy mornings and 50 Shades….

Of mammograms, pissy mornings and 50 Shades....

So this morning began like any other. Alarm off at 6 am. Snooze. Snooze again. Finally up at 6:15. Wake up son who needs a very quick shower because I have a mammogram scheduled at 7:50 and I need a shower too! Totally didn’t configure in two more children having to wash their hair…so needless to say when it was my time to own the bathroom…completely COLD shower. Do I need to mention that I am not a fan of Cold? Cold weather, cold drinks, cold floors on bare feet, cold air blasting from windows rolled down in the middle of winter….and cold showers suck raw eggs!

Thus began the start of a pissy morning. Fussing at my kids. Having to reschedule my appointment (which I had reworked my week around). Change in clothing (you can’t wear a dress and red hooker heels if you can’t shave your legs!) and a much needed crying session to cleanse the system. Within the next 60 minutes I learned more things than I have learned in 60 days. Some, perhaps valuable life lessons, others, well you be the judge… -__-

*No matter how grumpy and emotionally outrageous I am with my children, they love me, forgive me and even take the time to encourage their old mom. That, my dear, is priceless!

*Never get the bright idea to try new eye make-up when you are in a crappy frame of mind. Why?

If you poke your eyeball with a liquid eyeliner brush it will burn like hades!

If you aren’t an expert at using an eyelash curler…be very careful. It hurts like double hades if you pinch your cheek skin while trying to shove your eyelashes into that little space.

When in doubt – stick to Cover girl Prostitute blue eye-shadow. It has done the trick for years!

*Never try to use a flat iron on hair that is under 2 inches long….no matter how bad of a hair day you are having and no matter how good it looks on someone else – be prepared to look like Alfalfa or rewash hair (needless to say in COLD water!)

*No matter how long you wait for coffee to make – IF you don’t put water in the pot it’s not going to brew!

AND never pour cold water in a coffee pot that has been on for several minutes – that is – unless you are trying to achieve a volcanic effect with dry coffee grounds and blasts of steam…[ Hey girl, you smell delicious…wink wink..What are you wearing??? Uh, Folgers Crème Brulee Coffee! ]

NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! listen to songs by Eminem if you are in a homicidal state of mind! Something a tad bit more soothing – perhaps romantic violin and piano – would be more therapeutic.

Last but not least…after reading 50 Shades of Grey, mammograms don’t intimidate me like they used to. The pro’s of having to wait for the shower to warm up just enough for a quickie made me miss my appointment and I didn’t have to have my boobs fondled, squished and manipulated today. The cons of having to wait for the shower to warm up is …that I missed my appointment and I didn’t get to have my boobs fondled, squished and manipulated today….curse that Christian Grey!!

I need comfort food…. Laters Baby 🙂

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2013 in Uncategorized

 
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It Goes On

Every now and again I like to record some things that I pick up on this journey called life….and these are completely random.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder….I say it can hurt like hell, but your heart will toughen up

The things you think you can’t do…..you really can if you have to

You get wounded…but the pain heals and the scars can be a beautiful reminder of where you have been

You can capture a moment…but the clock keeps ticking

You may think you fallen in love…but when you get back up you realize you have just tripped over emotion

True love is a choice

Love is the most powerful force I know…yet sometimes it just isn’t enough

The thing you fear the most…you face every day and conquer it with ease

The rose will bud, and then bloom…. Take the time to relish its beauty because soon the petals fall to the ground to make room for the next blossom

Sometimes it rains…inside and out

Eternity is real…but nothing lasts forever

Sometimes you do things you didn’t think you would EVER do….its okay! Everyone makes mistakes

Sometimes those mistakes will be the best conversation starter years on down the road

Most of the time your worst enemy is yourself

Laugh out loud at least once every day…it truly is the best medicine

A woman can survive a lot of things…but she absolutely can’t make it through life without faithful girlfriends!

It’s amazing how therapeutic writing can be…..

 
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Posted by on January 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

 
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I am a Tree…..

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I am a tree.
I stand tall and proud in the summer sun,
Full of life, bearing fruit.
Her gentle breeze blows softly against me,
Each leaf swaying to the tune that dances through me.

I am a tree.
I stand strong against the wrath of autumn as
She threatens to strip me of all that I am.
I sway,
I bend,
I crack,
Until, relentlessly, I let go of that which is dying.
I weep and my leaves fall like tears from my branches.

I am a tree.
I stand in solitude against the bitter chill of winter.
All that is left is laid bare in the vast expanse.
Nothing to hide,
Nothing to give,
Is this my destiny?
Will I die here, barren and alone?

Oh, but I am a tree!
I stand because my roots go deep,
Woven in the foundation that makes me who I am.
I will sigh,
I will shiver,
But I will not lose hope!
For I know the song of Spring,
I have carved her melody on the walls of my heart.
And though silently,
I will sing!
Until I feel the first glimmer of her warmth
As she comes to embrace me.
Oh, and then I will rise!
I will greet her with buds of promise
I will find again my purpose
And burst forth with life anew.

I am a tree.
And I stand.

 
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Posted by on January 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Of Strangers, Umbrellas and a Desperate Plea

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There she stood, in the pouring rain, all alone, waiting. She was wet and her countenance weary.  My day had been full of one aggravating thing after another. Just one of those days where all the “to do’s” seemed almost overwhelming. I was on a mission; I had errands to run before picking up kids from school, so I drove on by. I wasn’t more than 300 feet away when a sudden feeling of desperation grabbed a hold of me. I spoke out loud, “doesn’t she have an umbrella? So I pulled over, crawled through my van frantically knowing that there had to be an umbrella in this mess somewhere! Finally, crammed underneath one of the seats was a black one. I turned around, headed back in her direction, pulled as close as I could and ran to her, umbrella in hand. I wasn’t sure if she would think I was some crazy woman who was going to attack her, but when I got to her I simply said, “Do you have an umbrella? She looked at me with surprise and simply said no, so I handed her mine.  All I could say to her was please don’t stand out here uncovered, please stay dry. She thanked me so much; I ran back to my car and drove away. As I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw her standing, umbrella above her, and if only for a few moments, I knew she was safe and sheltered from the elements around her.

The Bible says in Psalm 91: Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.”  As I drove away from this stranger that I may never see again, those words rang as clear in my spirit as if someone was sitting next to me reading them aloud. 

Elements. Things beyond your control. Moments in life that drop kick you in the gut and leave you gasping for air. I don’t know anything about this woman. I don’t know what’s going on in her life or yours. I’m not a very educated person (I guess it would have been overboard for God to have given me smarts along with my exceptionally winning personality and super cute looks…wink wink!) But there is something that I know better than I know my own name. And that is where my hiding place is! My shelter!  Not only do I know where to run, but I know where to dwell.  I could write a book, and I very well may do that one day, on moments over the years that could have crippled me or even left me desolate, but in His secret place I have been protected. Nothing has been or ever will be able to penetrate through the wings of the Almighty. A thousand may fall at my side and ten thousand at my right hand, but in Him I will stand. Even when I feel like I am falling, He has already commanded His angels to have charge over me.  Because I have chosen to make the Lord my refuge, there is nothing that will overtake me. He is with me in my troubles and He has promised to rescue me and protect me.

I pass people on the streets every day, but for some reason today, this woman with no umbrella has seized my heart. My kids are hungry, I need to go to the store, I haven’t bought one Christmas present, laundry needs to be washed, and I have one more test to take…. But, oh my goodness, I can’t do anything until I write and tell you that you never have to stand unsheltered and alone. So much more than I couldn’t stand this woman having to stand out in the rain, God couldn’t bare you having to exist without Him.  He loves you so much that He stepped out of the portals of eternity, penetrated time and space, wrapped himself in flesh and came so that you could know Him! I’m not sure where this is all coming from, this usually isn’t like me at all, but there is a desperate plea resonating from my Spirit tonight…someone, somewhere is being drenched by the rains that are beating down upon them. I beg of you, please don’t stand there uncovered. Please come under His shelter.  Please stay dry…..

 
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Posted by on December 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Strangers, Stories and Connections……

This day started like many other Sundays. I got up and quietly snuck out of the house to go to early church service. Afterwards I made my normal quick stop at the grocery store before heading back home to a houseful of kiddos. While checking out I struck up a conversation with the older gentlemen who was bagging my groceries. I have exchanged small conversations with him before, he is always friendly and sweet. This morning, however, I learned several wonderful things about him:

He and his wife used to own a restaurant in the mall many years ago – I remember it!

He loved his wife more than anyone! 52 glorious years of marriage to his best friend. Cancer took her from him last August.
He works, not because he needs the money, but because he misses his wife and needs something to do. “It gets lonely in a big ol’ house by yourself.”

He loves his children and is very proud of them and their achievements.

He loves his grandchildren.

In just a few short minutes, this stranger that I cross paths with at least once a week gave me a glimpse of who he was and I fell in love with his life, his story, his passion for the woman he loved so many years and his cheerful heart that is shaded by an emptiness that can’t be filled. If I never see him again in my life, for just a moment he became my friend.

It probably sounds silly I guess but it is moments like these that bring me back to the foundation of what I love about life. I love people and I love stories and every day, everywhere, there is someone who has a story that is waiting to be told. I can’t even begin to fathom what all I miss out on as I run chaotically through my busy days. There are times I lay my head down on my pillow at night and the day was so crammed pack it just seems like a blur.

But some days, just like today, all the busyness stops, and for just a few fleeting moments, a connection is made. A story is shared. A heart is touched. A stranger becomes a friend and life just seems better.

 
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Posted by on November 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

The Dance

Like trying to hold on to the air,
Vain efforts that flow from a heart that has never been driven by sense.
The melody that moves her isn’t audible to those who watch from a distance,
To them her dance seems awkward ,
In ignorant bliss they judge and walk away,
But her soul knows well there is no other tune that exists.

So she dances, full of hope, led by faith,
Confident that the Master Composer is the creator of her song,
A ballad that resonates with notes of passion, crescendos of joy,
Splashes of color – oh if rainbows had a voice!
The striking of the black and white harmonizing into a beautiful melancholy of gray.

She dances, completely aware of her surroundings,
Constantly battling the ever accusing voice that compels her to stop.
“Sit this one out,” he whispers,
But even in her weariness she cannot deny the desire that presses her on.
Sometimes in her loneliness she cries, “Is there anyone who will dance with me?”
Other times, all alone, she marvels in the touch of the unseen hands that guide her.

Come sunshine and rain, hope and despair, laughter and tears,
There is one thing that is certain,
She will dance.
Until her hearts beats no more,
Until her ears are deafened and the music is silenced,
Until mercy runs away and grace closes the curtain,
Until there is absolutely nothing left inside,
She will dance….

 
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Posted by on November 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

The Fall

Autumn seems to tickle the senses in a way that no other season does. The vibrant colors that paint the landscape, the crispy aroma that fills the air, the crunching sounds of leaves as our dog frolics around in the backyard. The coolness of the air that teases us to cover up. I truly love this time of year.

I was lying in my bed a few mornings ago listening to the small drizzle of rain and looking out the window at the leaves that were falling from the trees like snowflakes. One by one from various places all over the tree they would seem to gently let go as they allowed the wind to catch them and take them wherever it pleased. A plethora of questions came rushing into my mind:

How did each leaf know when it was their time to let go? The branch they had clung too for months had given them life. It had been their home, the place where they grew and thrived. How comfortable it must have felt to be a part of this branch. The spring rain and the summer sun had beaten down upon them numerous times as they clung tightly to their life source. Storms had come and threatened their existence, yet up until this moment, they had held on.

What about this very moment made the difference?

Were they satisfied that they had fulfilled their destiny and with confidence gently loosened their grip to fall trustingly into the open wind?

Were they curious of what it would be like to be independent from this old tree and boisterously flung themselves loose into the great wide open?

Had the storms of summer weakened their resistance and they could no longer sustain against the gust of wind that was tugging at them with persistence?

Perhaps they were simply tired of holding on, knowing the inevitable winter was coming so they just gave in to the season that embraced them.

As I laid there and watched these leaves, I saw myself in their plight. I heard my symphony as they danced with the wind. I realized that every question of reason was shouting from within my being. Autumn had come and set up residence in my heart many months ago,bringing so many changes my way:

Some were welcomed and I felt no apprehensions as I chose to follow their lead.

Some had tickled my curiosity and, like a child with no reason, I had pursued hard after them.

Some had come at me like a whirlwind, pounding against my resistance, beckoning me to give in and to loosen my grip.

And some were still lingering, with weary hands and a worn out grip, I find myself clinging to the threads of a fading hope, knowing with dreadful apprehension that if I did find the courage to let go, then winter would surely come and bring death to the once beautiful things I cherished.

Life, with all her uncertainties possesses a surety in the cycles. Autumn will give way to winter and the cold will come with death in her bosom. Just when you think that you can’t take another day, spring will burst forth with her promise of life anew. Summer will follow with her warm embrace, but ah don’t get too comfortable. Once again the kiss of Autumn will paint her colors before us and sing her song of letting go.

I laid there shaken by the thoughts that consumed me. If I were the leave, oh Lord, what comes after I fall? In a moment of clarity, the answer came bringing yet another life lesson. I am not the leaf whose destiny is the hands of changing seasons. I am the branch that is attached to the life giving tree. Jesus tells his disciples in John 15:5 that He is the vine (tree) and they are the branches. As long as they abide – live in and through Him – they will produce much fruit. Apart from Him, they can do nothing. So yes, as sure as the seasons come and go, there will be times in my life that I blossom with the new, times that I bend and shake in the storms, and I will inevitably face those moments that I must let go of the things that are dying. It will all come to pass, but my security lies in the source of life that I am attached too. Regardless of what comes my way, if I remain intact, living and abiding in the tree, then I will grow stronger with each passing season.

John 15:5 – I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me, you can do nothing.

 
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Posted by on November 6, 2012 in Uncategorized