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Of Waterfalls and Hidden Treasures

Of Waterfalls and Hidden Treasures

Everyone has things that they love to do to feed their soul (or should!) One of the things that I enjoy doing is hiking. It is a hobby I took up 3 years ago that has provided me with an abundance of opportunities to explore some incredible places in and around East Tennessee, southwestern Virginia, western North Carolina, northwestern South Carolina and Kentucky. I’ve also been privileged to meet some of the finest folks on planet earth that share the same passion for adventuring that was birthed in me from the first step on the trail. One of my favorite things to do is venture off trail in search of treasures that are hidden away in remote places that not everyone wants to take the time and the sometimes helluva of a lot of effort it takes to get to.

One of my friends had been told about a waterfall located off trail on Holston Mountain that wasn’t well known and rarely seen. On Labor Day, 2015, several of us set out in search of this fall. We located the stream quite easily and began our trek up the mountain with hopes of finding a treasure. The journey was a fairly moderate one with some small creek crossings, quite a bit of bushwhacking through the thick mountain laurel and fallen trees, some rock hopping and some uphill scrambling. However the further up the mountain we ventured, the smaller the creek became until eventually we completely lost the water source. We found ourselves standing on a boulder filled area that appeared to be the perfect place for a waterfall, we could even hear water running underneath us, however, no waterfall was to be found. No adventure is a waste of time but I do admit we were all a little disappointed that we did not find what we were looking for so we set our sights back on the trail and headed back to the car.

Skip ahead to a rainy Sunday in February, 2016 after old man winter had dumped a few deep snows around us and then saturated us with several rainfalls. Instead of staying inside where it was warm and dry, three of us from the previous adventure decided to get out and do some exploring. A few ideas were tossed around, and after considering the amount of the recent snow and rain, we decided to revisit the location on Holston Mountain in search of the unfound fall. As soon as we approached the creek, that was swelled and raging, we knew this adventure would merit a different outcome from the last. As the rains fell from the heavens and the waters sprung up out of the earth we began a journey that would prove much more difficult this time around. The creek was at least three times wider than before with deep waters rushing violently (thigh high in places!) and crossing was impossible unless we wanted to have soaked bodies from the get go. We decided to bushwhack up the bank as far as we could, using dead logs for makeshift bridges and tight-roping fallen trees whenever possible. The laurel was thicker than thieves, the rain saturating and the ground slick. Less than halfway up the journey, the only things still dry on me were the body parts protected by my raincoat and my feet sheltered in waterproof boots. After 3 hours of travailing through any way that we could, my hands and fingers were covered in dirt from gripping on to anything I could to stay upright, my jeans were soaked and muddy from belly crawls through the brush and I’m sure my face was decorated in shades of dirt and muck from the unsuccessful attempts to wipe it dry. But oh my! Our efforts were getting ready to pay off royally and the sights we were to behold, simply breathtaking.

From a distance we looked up and saw the first sights of a waterfall! The same boulder filled area we happened upon on our last visit was now covered with rushing waters falling from high upon the mountain. I couldn’t believe my eyes! The same area that had been dry as a bone before was now waterfall heaven laden with some of the absolute most gorgeous drops I have ever seen. Valiant efforts were put forth to capture this fall on film, yet it was impossible to get the whole fall – which was at least 300ft from top to bottom – in one frame. The falling rain made it even more challenging to snap a capture, but we persisted and persevered, making our way up drop after drop. I was completely captivated with each new drop, like a kid in a candy shop trying to get a piece of all the good stuff. Even the side tributaries that flowed into the main stream possessed incredible drops and cascades that were more than picture worthy, yet I was nowhere near ready to behold the magnificence that waited for us at the top.

I’m scrambling to get as many pictures as possible with the little bit of daylight we had left, I finally climb up over the last boulder and stand upright, and oh my! I knew immediately that I had been transported to some magical place. The rock wall to the left of the waterfall was an incredible sight within itself with small streams of water trickling down from its top. My eyes scanned over to the impressive waterfall that flowed out and over the top of the mountain. My eyes teared up as gasps of wonder from deep inside my soul escaped past my lips (yes I know, I am such an emotional creature!). All of the efforts had paid off – the repeated attempts, the bushwhacking, the cuts, the bruises, being soaked to the bone, dirty as crap – and we had found her! The hidden treasure was on full display right before my eyes. Heck yes!

As I stood there engrossed in amazement, I heard that still small voice that so eloquently speaks and seizes my attention. “What if you went through that much trouble to find the treasures hidden in people? Make repeated efforts when you appear to come up empty handed on the first try. Fight through the muck and dirt of their life. Weather the storm that is raging inside of them. Not give up until you find the treasure that I know is there?” Thus began another one of the priceless moments where the great God of heaven and earth stood beside me, stopping time as I know it and conversing with me for what seemed like an eternity. We talked of those who were hurting, confused, trapped inside walls of guilt and shame. Those who felt worthless, irrelevant, insignificant. Those who appeared dark and dreary to the naked eye, but to the soul who was brave enough to take a closer look, to delve deeper into the muck, would discover a treasure so grand our hearts would be astonished. He reminded me of times that I had been broken, empty and felt worthless and ashamed. We reminisced of the anger I had exchanged for pain and the fortress I had constructed around my heart to not hurt anymore (Pink Floyd’s wall didn’t hold a candle to mine!). He took me back to that glorious place on April 10, 1994 when I knelt before Him and surrendered. The moment I joined Him on my journey to find the treasures of His spirit buried deep inside my own being (talk about an ongoing bushwhacking adventure! Hello fuzzy!). Last but not least, He addressed the weariness that was lingering in my soul from what seemed like futile attempts and exhausted efforts in my life without any treasures being found. Journeys that had left me cut, bruised, wounded and vulnerable. And then I simply stood with Him in silence as this place of visitation was being forever burned into the portals of my mind.

Only a matter of seconds had passed when I returned to the present. We were running out of daylight and it was time to bid farewell to this glorious place we had discovered. I knew with every step back to the car that, although the waterfalls we encountered on this day were nothing short of a spectacular find, the greatest treasure I had discovered was a renewed sense of hope and desire to venture on His journey, embrace His plans and continue the search for His treasures that were hidden all around me.

2 Corinthians 4:6-8Living Bible (TLB)
For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made us understand that it is the brightness of his glory that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. But this precious treasure—this light and power that now shine within us is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies. Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our own.

 
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Posted by on March 2, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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Of Rocks, Trees and a Beloved Savior

Of Rocks, Trees and a Beloved Savior

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Song of Solomon 7:10

I recently had the opportunity to visit Grayson Highlands State Park, 4522 acres of gorgeous terrain in Mouth of Wilson, Virginia. With every hiking adventure that I go on, I’m always amazed at all of the beauty we encounter with each step on the trail. Our first stop was Big Pinnacle which reaches 5068 feet elevation. Rocky cliffs decorated with various wildflowers, moss and shrubbery adorn the pinnacles edge and are perfect for climbing and exploration. We ventured up the trail and over to Little Pinnacle which is 5089 feet elevation. You can see breathtaking views for miles and miles from both of these pinnacles! Our final destination for the day would be Cabin Creek Falls, unique in their own sense with two cascades resembling a heart shape as they flow downward in a slanted motion, meeting at the bottom and emptying into the icy cold pool.

The best words I could choose to describe this area is simply the hills are alive with music! The forest landscape was filled with the greenest green I have ever seen; beds of ferns as inviting as a pillow-top mattress; an assortment of wildflowers painting the green canvas with color; fire honeysuckle that shone as bright as the noon day sun; jack in the pulpits and trilliums galore. One couldn’t help but to remain in a constant state of awe with each new discovery. Sights, sounds, smells – my senses were alive and dancing with the harmonious melody of nature.

A few days before our trip, a trail friend had shared a picture with me of a tree that was growing around this rock. It resembled something from a magical land of elves and kings, and the anticipation of laying my eyes on this sight was growing inside of me. As we descended from Little Pinnacle, coming down the hill and around the corner, there he stood! Magnificent! Bewitching! Stunning! Handsome! I was overwhelmed and had to fight back the tears that desperately flooded my eyes. The way this tree had formed himself around this rock was remarkable. The way he had wrapped his roots around her and planted himself firmly in the ground, astonishing. I stared for what seemed like eternity as I was transported back to times passed. A time when this rock had stood alone in the forest, unique in her own sense, however bare and exposed. Somewhere from on high, a seed looked down and fell in love! He observed her vulnerabilities laid open for all to see as she stood there, unprotected from the elements around her. He settled in his heart the desire to leave his home on the tree, to exchange his life as a seed and become the mighty tree she needed. To come down to where she dwelt, fall upon her, break open and plant himself in the depths of her being. He knew his destiny was to love her, to be her guard and protect her forever. He would embrace her and shelter her from any storm that came her way. He would become her shield and companion; he would belong to her and her to him.

In a moment of time I saw centuries pass before my eyes and was taken back to yet another hill. A place called Golgotha where my Savior hung, naked on a cross, broken and spilled out for me. He had looked down from his home on high and saw me, standing alone, bare and exposed to the sin that threatened my existence. His desire for me caused him to leave where he was and come to where I dwelt. He planted his love in the depths of my being as he wrapped his arms around me and embraced me. He became my protector, my shield, my companion. He exchanged his life as king of existence to become my savior, to belong to me and I to him, forever. Oh my, the revelation that stirred in my heart. I wanted to shout! To cry! To lay myself prostrate on the ground and worship my Lord.

It never fails that with each hike I discover a new part of me that has been planted in the portals of time and has been patiently awaiting my encounter. On this day, I found myself in a rock, embraced by a tree somewhere in the southern highlands of Virginia.

 
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Posted by on June 10, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Sometimes I Wonder….

Sometimes I Wonder....

Sometimes I wonder…
Am I numb?
When I refuse to succumb
To the senses that wish to entrance me.

Am I wise?
To resist the surmise,
To linger and wait,
To look for a sign.

Am I cold?
Just walk away, bold
Shake the dust that covers my soles.

Am I caged?
Inside of a rage,
Rip out the page,
Burn the ties that bind me!

Am I free?
Can it be just me?
Does it really take someone to complete me?

Am I real?
Can I heal?
Will I feel?
Ease the pain?
Taste the rain?
Chase the sun?
Come undone?
Hear the voice?
Make a choice?
Sieze the day?
Dare to stay?
Walk Away?
Miss the boat?
Stay afloat?
Open my eyes?
Dare to fly?
Open my heart?
Fall apart?

Sometimes I just wonder…

 
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Posted by on May 25, 2014 in Uncategorized

 
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The Great Channels – Beauty from adversity

The Great Channels - Beauty from adversity

This picture was taken at the Great Channels of Virginia, on the cliff’s edge, peering down at where we had come from to get to where we were. The trail was taxing at times, even to the point of having to stop to catch our breath, yet the anticipation of the destination was enough fuel to carry us on along our way. Approaching the Channels and her mammoth size sandstones gave me butterflies. Hopping along her spine was a mesmerizing invite, yet one slip of the foot would send you hurling downward 40 to 60 feet to the caverns floor (well if you were lucky enough to make it to the bottom – some places gave you the idea that you might become the next object wedged so intricately in the display!) Walking down into the channels gave one the feeling that you were traveling through a magical wardrobe into an enchanted land from ages past. It’s difficult, almost impossible to describe all that my eyes beheld! The beauty, the magic, the traces of history, trees growing out of rocks, colors more impressive than a rainbow, slithers in caverns that invited you to come in. Some led to dead ends giving you the sneaky sense that you were captured inside an old Egyptian booby trap and at any moment tons of sand would pound upon your helpless self, while others, with enough effort and maneuvering, found you in another room full of awe and wonder. The faces in the rock formations intrigue me the most. ‘Keepers of the way” as I like to call them, evidence of a lifetime I know nothing of but if I take enough time to linger, I will have the honor of connecting to those who have passed before me.

We could have lingered for days in these channels and still not have gleaned all of the riches intertwined within her. It was difficult to leave, something in my soul was just not ready to say good bye, and as we made our way back out onto the trail, we discovered a side step that lead us to the destination of this picture, the best seat in the house. With careful steps, we ventured to the edge, knowing that one false move would be the end of life as we know it. Right at the corner of the way stood this annoying little bush with barren, prickly branches that seemed to want to prohibit my arrival and rob me of the view that was mine to behold. Yet my perseverance outweighed the timidity that was rising in my throat and, wah-lah! Here I sit. Victorious! Amazed! And free! It was at that moment I heard distinctively in my spirit “Look where you are and see where you have come from.” I knew that my heavenly Father was getting ready to reveal something grand to me. My eyes gazed upon the trail below me. The twists, the turns, the ups and down and the level plateaus. My mind pondered on each step that it took to get to the destination of our journey. The sights along the way; some breathtakingly beautiful, some intriguing, exquisite, some ordinary and I’m sure some that were worthy but missed due to the concentration and focus on what was awaiting me.

The wind rustled through my hair and brushed my face like an unseen hand. It was only seconds, perhaps a minute or two that I sat on the edge, but a lifetime passed before my eyes and I saw:

A lonely child, heartbroken, beaten and afraid.

A young woman, angry, confused, stripped of worth and identity.

A wife hungry for love and approval.

A mother discovering a love so fierce that nothing in time nor space could extinguish it.

A student passionately discovering a truth that refreshed, renewed, affirmed, healed and transformed.

A minister fervently sharing the good news that broke chains and set the captives free.

A woman revealing her heart and soul, exposing the depths of who she was and how she had come to be. Bearing the scars of adversity yet standing tall, strong and victorious. Familiar with loss but embracing the blessings.

A survivor overcoming her fears.

Hungry to live, to love, to laugh, to discover.

The Great Channels – a magical place that had been formed from adversity. Had the pressure from the ice wedges not shattered the capstone, no one would have ever been able to venture inside the maze of passages and discover the beauty that lied within the heart of the mammoth stone. On a beautiful spring day in April, I found a part of me hidden in those ancient passages. My soul identified with the adversity that was necessary to break open the stone and reveal the treasure that lie within. My life resembled the trail with its ups and downs, its times of leveling out, beautiful times along the way, times I surely missed while focusing on something else, and my, oh my how many stickly bushes had wanted to prevent me from taking that next step. Had it not been for the times of adversity and pain I would not be who I am today. My heart sighed, rejoiced, lingered and somehow expanded as I sat on that edge, knowing not only had I visited a magical place full of awe and wonder, I had also found a piece of my soul and would travel home enriched, more complete than when I arrived.

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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I trust you….

I trust you....

Before the sun shows his light over the horizon, I lift up my eyes unto you, Oh God, maker of heaven and earth, Almighty eternal King, the One who was, and is and is to come, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, my heavenly Father and my closest Friend. My Spirit resonates with praises to you who is worthy beyond the feeble words I can sing. Your mercies greet me anew and once again I declare my eyes are fixed on You and I trust you.

I trust you Lord to guide me on the path that leads only to you.

I trust you with my children (and grand-children), for you have a destiny for each of their precious souls and I stand firm in the promises you have spoken no matter how dark things appear to be at times.

I trust you with my health as I do everything I can to treat my body right.

I trust you with my mind, to cleanse my thoughts and cast down any that contradict you and your Word.

I trust you with, not only with my life as a whole, but with everyday living, the little things that come my way each day.

I trust you with my security, for your angels guard us and keep clear our paths from destruction.

And Lord, oh Lord, I trust you with my heart. It is yours to hold safely and securely while you continue to mold me and make me. When those moments come that I need comfort, that I need companionship, that I need arms wrapped around me to shelter me from the storm, I trust that it is you Lord who will faithfully come to my rescue.

With a joy unspeakable and full of glory, with a peace that passes all understanding, with complete confidence and assurance, I say to you oh Lord, good morning and I trust you.

 
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Posted by on January 5, 2014 in Uncategorized

 
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Dreams

Dreams

Dreams …An escape from reality
Taking you to places that you long to be
But, sometimes mine..they take me back
To Places so old
Places so cold
A little girl crouched in fear
A young lady fighting back the tears
A wife, distraught, striving for good
A minister, fallen, from the priestly-hood
A woman desperate and searching for love
Shaking her fists at the skies above
A mother determined to take care of the needs
A widow whose hidden heart still bleeds
So many wounds
So many chains
So afraid things will remain the same
The past , it haunts
It stabs and taunts
It can leave you hurting
Feeling alone…

A gentle hand on my shoulder to shake
I open my eyes and my soul does awake
The light seeps through
My heart skips a beat
I feel Him lift me to my feet
Arise my love and face the day
Your many sins have been washed away
Your chains are gone
Your slate is clean
Those familiar fears
Was just a dream
You’re not alone
For you have me
And yes my dear, I am all you need
No matter what may come your way
Together we will face each day
Awake, arise
Stand strong, stand tall
It was just a dream after all…

 
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Posted by on January 4, 2014 in Uncategorized

 
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Reflections….

Refections....

Well another year has came and went and as always, I sit here this morning drinking a nice cup of pumpkin spice coffee taking time to reflect upon the many events that has occurred over the past 365 days, so many changes, challenges and blessings: becoming exclusively single for the first time in 21 years and trusting only God with my heart (and I can tell you it has been the best experience of my life!), my son breaking his leg in half, my daughter giving birth to her first child and my first grandchild (and witnessing the miracle of birth from a whole new angle!), making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, venturing into new things, seeing my children grow and walk in God’s callings in their life, watching my faithful God and Father answer so many prayers and truly experiencing a peace that passes all understanding I can honestly that although 2013 saw its share of struggles, it has been one of my best ones by far. For what it’s worth, here are a few of my reflections totally in random order…..

I’ve learned that there are people you meet in life who will connect with your soul and when that happens you are forever affected by it whether the friendship lasts a minute or a lifetime.

A soul-mate may not be just one person or your companion – I have several soul-mates (men and women) and my life wouldn’t be the same without.

When you are knitted together with someone by God – time nor distance, situation nor circumstance can hinder your connection.

I absolutely love to hike! I love gallivanting around in the beautiful creation my God made and
He always shows himself in a spectacular way to me when I take the time to see.

Waterfalls are the cheapest and greatest form of therapy! Not to mention they are breathtaking to behold!

I love rocks – all shapes and sizes!

I love sushi!! Yum!

A good glass of wine and a bubble bath are necessary from time to time.

Love is a choice, not a sappy feeling – that is usually lust or gas!

There is a love that runs deeper than romance and emotions and when the “feeling” is gone, that kind of love will remain strong. It is an unselfish love that always wants the best for the other party involved.

Love is a powerful force but if someone doesn’t love their self, you will never be able to love them enough.

I can make it through life without a lot of things, but good, faithful friends are a necessity!

Girlfriends are one of God’s greatest gifts! I have been blessed with the absolute best ones ever!

It is possible to be single and very happy.

There is a big difference in being alone and being lonely.

Sometimes solitude is the best serenity (and that’s coming out of the mouth of a chick who hated being by herself!)

No matter how bad you want something, if it’s not God’s will, it wont happen.

It is truly amazing the love you can feel for your grand child!

I hate – despise – loathe with all of my being – Biology!

You can never spend too much time holding your grandbaby (and you can never take too many pictures!)

Baby toes trump chocolate!

Your children never stop needing you – the needs just change as they grow older. Be flexible and give them space to be themselves. They will love you for it.

When you love yourself – life takes on a whole new flavor.

It’s empowering to accept your own worth and value – especially when there is no one else to affirm you.

Confidence in your self is attractive.

Your children know you better than you think they do. Take their advice sometimes.

Laugh with your children – they need to see you act silly and be happy.

Some of the greatest moments in life are shared in the car with your kids and the radio.

No matter how hard you try not to, sometimes you will hurt other people’s hearts.

Pain is necessary for growth.

Kidney stones still suck and hurt like hades! (and contributes nothing to above referenced growth lol!)

Everyone is fighting some kind of battle – be kind and smile – it may make all the difference in the world!

God is always on my side – even when I’m a cat’s hair away from going to jail – whew that was memorable but scary..;)

Answers to prayers don’t always come ‘quickly’ but when they do come, they are ‘suddenly’ – chew on that one for a few 😉

Never ever think that God doesn’t hear our prayers. He is always listening, always working on our behalf.

Proverbs 13:12 says : Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life” I have learned from personal experience that scripture Is absolutely true!!

God’s timing is perfect! We may not always understand His plans at the moment, but when revelation comes it is extraordinary!

Don’t try to rush God, He is not moved by our emotional fits.

We can absolutely and completely trust God with ALL areas of our life. He will never fail us or let us down.

We can have epic fails and God still loves us!

God will speak to through whatever means He needs to get your attention – He will even use Elvis Presley! I love you always Elvis!!

Most of all I learned that the things I thought I wanted and needed most in my life, I don’t need at all. All I need is God and when I walk in complete trust and dependency upon Him, HE fulfills my every need and life is a joy to live. He will bring the people, places, things and events my way that He desires for me and I don’t have to worry about a thing!

I’m sure there are many more but the shower is calling. Wishing everyone a very blessed and prosperous 2014!

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2014 in Uncategorized

 
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On Valleys, Shadows and Father’s Day Gifts

On Valleys, Shadows and Father's Day Gifts

Last week started as any usual week. Busy schedules, work, ballgames, kids wanting to go here and there, nothing out of the ordinary except this nagging irritation in the pit of my being. Being a woman, I figured it was just a normal ride on the nice little hormonal rollercoaster we encounter periodically, and I was sure it would fade as usual. As the next day rolled around, the irritation remained and was in greater capacity. I prayed, asking God to help me not feel like I could bite a nail in two, yet it proceeded from nail-biting to feeling like I could go postal at the drop of a hat. Friends would ask me what was wrong and I felt stupid admitting that I just didn’t know what was going on inside of me. Perhaps I was feeling the anticipation of my children’s hearts as Father’s day was approaching and two days later the 2 year anniversary of their father’s death, heck! I just didn’t know! The fact that I couldn’t shake it and was getting no answer to my “what’s up with me” questions to God was leaving me quite distraught. I finally came to the conclusion (through the help of a friend who is always faithful to sharpen me as iron does for iron) that God was leading me to a place of release and when He knew I was ready, He would faithfully reveal the purpose in all this madness. Until then, it was pray for sanity!

Sunday morning I awoke as the light peeked through my bedroom window. As soon as my eyes were open, my heart felt a gentle nudging. It was Father’s day and my heavenly Father wanted to spend time with me before anyone else was up. Coffee was fixed, and I went to sit outside to enjoy the cool of the morning. As I went to sit down, it felt as if a dam inside of me was about to break. Before I could mutter a word, I heard the sweet voice of my Father shhhh’sh me (hey, sometimes I think He even puts His hand on my mouth when He wants me to be quiet 😉 ) and thus began the revelation of the past few days. As I crawled up in the lap of my Father and laid myself in His embrace, I knew it was time to let go….

For the first time, after two years, I allowed my heart to finally grieve, without any restraints or reasoning, the enormity of the loss that not only my children had suffered, but that had also pierced my heart. I didn’t try to understand, analyze, explain or restrain the tears that were flowing from somewhere deep inside. I just let them fall. I felt their warmth as they trickled down my cheeks. I tasted their saltiness as they found themselves upon my lips. Like a dam that had been opened, my soul had my unspoken permission to purge herself from all that she had been holding back behind those fortified walls. Oh, I’m sure had there been certain onlookers, they would have scoffed at my emotion, yet in this moment, it was just me, my Father and the gentle breeze that rustled through my hair. (oh and my dog was there, my sweet, loving, protective beast of a dog – leaning as close to the fence as he possibly could and looking sideways out of the corner of his eye – somehow understanding the moment and sharing it with me!)

I had lost the one who had become one with my soul many years ago. That supernatural connection doesn’t fade just because a legal paper says you are no longer together. It doesn’t diminish in meaning just because life got the best of you. In the eyes of the one who wove the threads together, it is only severed when He says that it is. How do I know this? Because GOD told me so! I don’t believe in coincidences so no, I don’t find it strange that the day that Derrek took his last breathe on this earth was the same day that 17 years prior, God had joined together two people and made them one. Yes our marriage had failed and in the physical, tangible world that we dwell in, we lived our lives as two separate entities. Yet in the eyes of the Almighty Author of our destinies, He had ordained time and circumstance to allow me to be present in the room as He called Derrek to his heavenly home. In the wee hours of a tragic Saturday morning, my daughter looked up and me and realized what particular day it was, with a broken voice she cried to me, ‘momma it’s June 18, our wedding anniversary’. I, overwhelmed with emotion was walking out of the room, when the audible voice of God spoke to me and said, “I meant it when I said til death do you part.” I knew right then it was soon, very soon and within minutes we witnessed a soul being led from this world into the realms of heaven.

A season of my life was over and a new season was laid before me. A season that would lead my children and I through a valley that, whether we were ready or not, it was time to venture on. The psalmist calls this place the valley of the shadow of death. Most of the time this particular scripture in Psalm 23 is used to reference the transition of the one who is passing. However, I can tell you from experience that, if you are a believer in Christ, there is no valley that you must treck through to get to Him. The bible says “to be absent in the body is to be present with God” and I watched as these words came alive when Derrek took his last breathe here. In an instant, his unbearable pain turned to incredulous peace as He reached out for Jesus and took hold of His hand. I watched in his eyes as his spirit left this world and crossed over into the realms of eternity. There was no valley, only a glorious gathering of angels welcoming him into his new, forever home. The valley was awaiting our feet and the shadows were falling on our hearts.

What is the valley of the shadow of death?

~It’s when you are blowing out your candles and everyone is singing to you the birthday song, and there is the once voice that you would love to hear.

~It’s that grand slams , the touchdowns, the 3 point shots, and even though the crowd is cheering you on, there is one face you are aching to see in the crowd.

~The song on the radio, the TV show you used to watch together, the little things that remind you of the empty space that no one on earth can fill.

~The moments of despair as you lay in your bed wondering how in the world you are supposed to do all of this alone.

~Wishing for that voice of wisdom as you need direction as you grow up.

~The dreams that are so convincing until you wake up and realize that life is still what it is.

~Those times when you just want to call and talk and share and laugh and love and hug.

~It’s everyday life and learning to live it differently now that a part of you is forever gone. Those triggers that bring a smile to your face and a tear to your eye.

Yes! The valley can be a solemn place, but, ah! It is also full of promise! The scripture goes on to say, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death – I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” The valley may be paved with heartache but it also blossoms with memories. At some points you will laugh so hard your stomach hurts and other times you will cry so hard that you feel you can’t possibly cry no more. There will be times you run on auto –pilot and times that you feel like you can’t take another step. But ALL times there is the promise that we are not alone! God, our good Shepherd, walks with us every step of the way. He was there in the hospital room , preparing us for our journey and He has been in every moment since. He promises that no matter what the valley may bring us, or the shadows that are cast upon us, HE is with us! No matter how heavy the heartache – He will comfort us. No matter how empty the space – HE will fill it. No matter how many times we feel like we just can’t make it – HE will be there to lift us up and lead us on. He is ever present and ready to meet us wherever we need Him – in a car, on a jog, in your room, on a field, on a treadmill, and even sitting outside on your wicker loveseat on a beautiful, breezy Father’s day morning. No matter how dreadful the valley or how dark the shadows sometimes, HE IS THERE! Will we ever move out of the valley? No. It’s a trail that we will have to blaze until it comes our time to cross over, but we need not to fear when HE is our travel companion.

The tears ceased and my heart was renewed. On this particular Father’s day it was me who received a gift. Healing, comfort, release, and a beautiful reminder that my God is good and He is still…and always…with me.

 
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Posted by on June 21, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Celebrating Easter…YES! Jesus Loves Me

Celebrating Easter...YES! Jesus Loves Me

“Jesus Loves me this I know, For the Bible tells me so,
Little ones to him belong, They are weak but He is strong.”

I’m sure that any of us that have even a smidgen of a church background knows this tune. How many times have we recited it with no more of a thought of what we are saying than if we were singing the “give me back my filet o fish give me my fish” McDonald’s jingle? (I’m guilty!) Early in the wee-morning hours, I awoke with this song playing over and over in my head. I was somewhat sleepy and just wanted to drift back into never-land, when I felt that all too familiar (and wonderful) nudge to plunge deeper into the portals of my spirit and answer the question:

Jesus Loves me…How do I know?…..only because the Bible tells me so? My sleepy soul arose as if out of a deep slumber as I answered – I know because –

Every morning when I open my eyes, the sweet presence of the Father is there to greet me and He goes with me throughout the day.

Sometimes He is a silent companion that I know “has my back!”

Sometimes He asks me questions that I know my answer is pretty much null and I’m headed towards a life lesson.

Sometimes we embark on a conversation concerning others and how much they need Him.

Sometimes we talk about how much I need him.

Sometimes we just talk about things like the sky, pretty flowers, magnificent trees, slimy snails, thunderstorms, the ocean, seashells and chocolate, sweet chocolate…

Sometimes we laugh together and sometimes He holds me when I cry.

Sometimes He waits patiently as I try to figure something out.

Sometimes He speaks loudly when He wants my attention to do something for Him.

Sometimes He speaks softly just to remind me that He is there.

Sometimes I just can’t help but to sing to Him because He is so worthy!

Sometimes I am just speechless as I stand in awe of His magnificence.

Sometimes He helps me to help others make it through their day.

Sometimes He just helps me to make it through mine without going all Bloomingdale on some deserving fellow human ;p

Sometimes He compels me to do peculiar things (like stopping in the pouring rain to give an umbrella to a complete stranger)

Sometimes He compels others to do peculiar things for me (like bring me fresh flowers or truffles or tires for my van)

Living a life in relationship with the Master of the Universe, Creator of all things, Most Holy, Almighty Living God – well sometimes you just don’t know what the day will bring…

But ALL times I know one thing – HE IS WITH ME!

Through thick and thin, good and bad, struggles and victories – He is always, always with me!

From the minute I open my eyes, to when I lay my weary head down to rest, He is with me.

Even when I sleep, He is watching over me!

I know that I know that I know – beyond a shadow of a doubt – that Jesus loves me!! Otherwise He would have never given his life in order for me to experience the gift of this “ever-present” presence of my wonderful God and Father! It was love that gave him the strength to endure the beatings. It was love that led him up that hill. It was love that kept him nailed to the cross and it was love that invaded the depths of hell and took back what belonged to me in the first place – unbroken fellowship with the Father! From the moment the curtain was torn in twain from the top to the bottom, His omnipresence broke the boundaries of time and space and inhabited the hearts and lives of all those who call out to Him.

Do you know that Jesus loves YOU? How do you know? Did you read it? Has someone just told you that He does? Or do you live everyday knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that His blood was shed for YOU? Do you know that you know that you know that YES! Jesus loves you!

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Connections…continued

Connections...continued

Two women
As different as the day is long
A project
Take something barren
Unattended
Overgrown
Make it beautiful!
A plan
Hard work
Tilling
Planting
Sowing
Mission accomplished
Time would tell
The harvest would come
The result amazing. Connected.

Seeds
Of kindness
Honesty
Girl talk
Simple conversation
Heartfelt sharing
The master plan
Friendship that would blossom
So much more beautiful than the flowers
Spirits intertwined
Souls refined
Iron sharpens iron
By the Master himself. Connected.

Days would come
Days would go
Hearts break
Foundations shake
Life uprooted
Faith tested
Wounds collected
Distance
Souls bleed
Shame
Guilt
Silence
Alone
But not abandoned. Connected.

Two daughters
Very much the same
Brought together
In His name
One father
One plan
To supersede the love of man
To see
To know
To grasp
To hold
The love so deep
The love so bold
The love that died
To live again
A simple call
Unveils the plan. Connected

Rise up
Be healed
Be whole
Be free
Go forth
And shout with victory
To the barren
The wounded
The lonely
The weak
Plant
Till
Sow
His seeds
And forever be. Connected.

 
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Posted by on February 28, 2013 in Uncategorized